Man, had the busiest and most fucked up week here! How’s things going over there? How Amanda going? Have you got a photo you can send so I can see her.
First of all I headed over to Nua Lembogan for the Full Moon party and the waves were pumping and there is this wave called Lacerations over there that I heard was good so I podded over there with this bodyboarder from the South Coast who’s name is Luke. Took this dodgy boat accross to the island, there were people everywhere! People were sitting on the roof but that’s normal here. Chickens squalking and everything. Trip was pretty boring just spoke to this local trying to learn a bit more of the lanuage, the seas were huge and we’re in this tiny boat getting thrown all over the place. Anyway get to Lembogan and stay at this place about 1km away carring all my boards that was cheap, 20 000 rupiah ($4) a night. Wind was on-shore and strong so just chilled in upstairs restraunt overlooking Shipwrecks (another break there) and there was only 4 guys out and it was huge, triple overhead on the sets!! The wind started swinging so we started walking to Lacerations (where the boat dropped us off) and it didn’t look that good but we started paddling out (about 1/2km) and the wind swung off-shore and the waves started pumping! Easily the sickest wave I have ever seen! It was breaking like cloud 9! About 4-5ft on the sets and perfect!! But the tide was dropping really fast and all the surfers left about 10min after we got there, so there was only 4 bodyboarders out and they were 6 waves sets! Lacerations is a right hander so I was in my element after not surfing a right in 5 weeks! Should have seen how good this bowl was! I broke the core in my Science! About time too! 1 down, 2 to go! Anyway I started to get too cocky and I bottom hand turned too late into this barrel and the lip hit me in the head and I went straight into the reef. Ripped most of the right side of my back off! So I’m out of the water until I get to the Philippines! Ripped my shorts up really good too, so bringing them home as a souvenir. Fully Sean Virtue at Cloud 9 style. HAHA
Then after the sickest waves we went to the Full Moon party that night at Scooby Doo Bar, I knew the Bintang’s (Beer) were 15 000 rupiah a tallie so I took 150 000 rupiah with me. But what I didn’t realise was that you got free shots with the Bintang’s. Strike 1! And because we didn’t have anything to do in the afternoon we went down there early and I was playing connect four with all the bar guys. So later on when we were drinking I wasn’t playing for all my drinks cause they knew me, so have no idea how much I’m drinking. Strike 2! After a shitload of Bintang’s I thought it’d be a great idea that I buy a JUG of Arak (local spirit, FUCKIN’ nasty) to drink. Everyone was cheering me on to drink it all as well. Strike 3 & I’m out! I don’t remember a thing! I woke up in the morning in my own bed (lucky), but without everything I went out with the night before except I still had my shorts on. I lost my double pluggers, my hat and my WALLET!!!!!! Spewing! So had to buy all that stuff when I got back to Kuta. Supposible that night I fell asleep on this blokes varandah and he put blankets over me cause it was cold. Pretty cool. Yeah my friends said I went for a swim late that night too. Only reason I know about the varandah is there were these people walking past me the next day laughing and pointing at me, and I’m thinking ‘ohh shit! what did I do’. So I went and talked to him and it was his varandah, also he woke me up in the morning and asked where I was staying. It was right next door!! Dickhead!! I slept most of the next day and cause I couldn’t surf we headed back to Bali on the boat. Worst trip ever! The rain was bucketing down and everything got soaked. Wanted to take a picture but the camera would have got wet. And the waves were still huge too! I was glad to be back on Bali. Arak was one of the worst hangovers I have ever had. Slept for 2 days!
It was one of the boys birthday last night and he hadn’t been out yet so we all went out to the Bounty for drinks. I was still feeling seedy from the Full Moon party! It was pretty shit at first. Got shut down by a couple of chicks so I was ready to go home, but had a few more drinks and I was all good again. Anyway, I had been talking to this local girl all night but didn’t know we’re it was going. This huge fat chick walked past and I pinched her on the ass for a joke with all the guys. She stalked me all night!!!! Pretty Funny!! Then were I kissed the local girl the fat chick just went off! The boys were having a good laugh! Then this hot German chick was dancing with me and I didn’t pick up the signals and barred her for the local which isn’t that crash hot. One of the guys hocked in with her friend and she was telling him that the other chick wanted to take me home! FUCKIN’ pissed off!!!!! That’s cool, meeting up with the local chick at 7pm tonight and we’re going back to her joint in Demparsar (30min away). I couldn’t take her home to Sunny’s house cause local girls aren’t allowed to stay. So I was over it by about 4 so started the treck home.
This is some fucked up shit now. As I was walking down all the laneways to get home (pretty scary when your by yourself) nature was calling so I found a corner and proceeded to piss. Then this motobike with a bloke driving and this chick on the back stop right beside me. Like I mean right beside me. I’m like ‘what the fuck…..?’ The chick hops off the bike going ‘you want women, you want women?’, man, I’m like I’m pissing here!! So I’m telling here to go away and she keeps on walking towards me. I’m saying go away and then she proceeds to start pulling me off, WHILE I’M STILL PISSING!!! And I’m like, ‘ohh…ok’. THEN, just as I think it can’t get any worst, as soon as I finish she starts sucking me off!!! That’s disgusting!! In the middle of the laneway! I still hadn’t shaken! HA And she kept pulling her pants down and wanting to do it right there and then! I’m going ‘NO way!’ Then all of a sudden she stops, pulls up my pants and walks back to the bike. I’m like ‘what the…?’ The went she gets on the bike I realise, my wallet! I grab it out of my pocket open it up and it’s empty! The bitch ripped me off! Nah, that’s cool it was only 50 000 rupiah anyway! Her sucking my dick straight after I’d pissed was the most disgusting thing I’d ever seen so she can have the 50 for her efforts! I can stop laughing at it man! You should be here! Then I’m walking along the main street to get home (pissing myself laughing) and anther chick stops me and same thing, ‘you want women, you want women?’, I’m saying that I’ve got no money. ‘Only 5000 rupiah ($1)’. Man they’re dumb over here! She couldn’t understand no money, so I pull out my wallet to show her. Then, middle of the main street in Kuta, 4:30 in the morning, she starts pulling my penis and then rides off!! Then after that on the way home there were these to Dutch chicks walking home by themsealves so I did the good person thing and walked them home. Then I finally got home at 5 this morning! Big night! Funny shit though!
Sorry about the length of the e-mail but heaps been happening! Let me know how everyone is going. Rob, Claire, Amanda, Keiryn, your family, and all the other important people! Thanks dude! How have the waves been? Hear from you soon! Take Care mate!
Joel / Gold Coast